wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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