i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
