I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
