its not stalking. its research.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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