Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
