She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
