Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
