Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had to cum in my sink.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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