Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize