He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
