My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
