so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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