problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
