So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
