I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
