so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
