Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
