her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
