toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
