I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
