I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
