And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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