The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
