All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
