The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
