i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
