Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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