Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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