You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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