yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
