I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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