just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
