okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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