woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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