I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
