If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
