he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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