i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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