Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
