yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
