I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
