You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
