so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize