I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am naked and annoyed.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
