sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize