Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she peed on how many people?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
