Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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