Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
