I hate all girls vehemently.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
