Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
