I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize