I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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