are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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