Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
