Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
