Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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