God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize