she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
