Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
