What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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