...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
