I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let's get the cat blown out
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
