i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
