hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
