I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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