is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
