You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
