The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
