oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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