I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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