He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
